40 was big and brave and beautiful. Part of me is sad for it to end. Part of me intrigued and excited for what comes next.
Layered on top of a year already full of all flavors of fullness, I purchased a home, on a couple of acres, way out in the mighty Carrizo Plains. A tiny little off-grid cabin. A dream of dreams. And after so many chapters of moving around, renting, house-sitting, vagabonding… the sense of stillness I feel here is a gift.
I am finding Brittany here. Truly and completely. Underneath all the layers. Grounding.
Seven ducklings, ten sheep, a mating pair of barn owls, a six foot guardian gopher snake. June bugs, lady bugs, dirty sock bugs. Tarantulas and grasshoppers. Hummingbirds, bees and butterflies. Cottontails and jackrabbit, coyotes and kangaroo rats. Kit foxes, rattlers, elk and pronghorn. They’re all here with me. And I with them. Birds with songs so numerous I can’t yet identify. Crows, raptors, swarms of black birds.
I am not alone.
In this strange time of solitude, I am surrounded by the kind of life and living that begs for stillness, observation, and wonder. I am surrounded by life that was here long before any peoples, homes or bumpy dirt roads. My life intertwining. Gently.
I tiptoe. I ground. I am grateful.
Today the clouds hang low and the morning sun is sliding off the mountain ranges, aiding me in gently bidding adieu to a year of living into my own skin.
This home is the dream I’ve been dreaming. That dream now lucid.
And as the ewe gives birth to her lamb/s in the coming days, so too will I give birth to this dream. Land and animals, food and soil, regeneration and stillness. Living and learning, and, more than anything, love.
Tomorrow will mark two months in this home, and 41 years on this planet. Tomorrow will mark a heart overflowing with gratitude, and a renewed hope for a collective tomorrow that feels as peaceful as my today. I believe that if we sit still, really truly sit still, the wonders of the natural world have much to say. I plan to spend 41 listening.
I created a resource page for all things COVID-19, and I will continue to update it weekly. Please feel free to utilize this resource, and to share it widely. With Love & Gratitude, Brittany